Dear Local Bar

Even though it seems crazy, not everyone comes to your bar to get drunk.  I didn't come here tonight to listen to your house band either, but they weren't bad, so they will be spared any indignities.  No, some people come to your bar to hang out with their friends that want to drink.  This, regardless of what you seem to believe, is a common occurrence. 

There is also something called a "Designated Driver".  This person chooses not to drink so that they can safely drive others away from your little slice of mediocrity.  I was also doing this, since again, I don't drink alcohol.  So, you may ask, why am I mad at you.  There are two reasons for this. 

The first reason is the reason that immediately affects me.  I ordered a diet coke.  You in turn charged me for this diet coke.  Many bars would not charge me for the $0.13 worth of seltzer water and syrup, since I was doing something that is good for everyone.  Maybe you are just giving away water for free to designated drivers.  I bet you are charging for that too.

The injustice is charging me $2.50 for what was the equivalent for a can of soda.  This alone makes those in charge, if not the bartender, scumbags.  Fountain soda costs so little that it appalls me that you would charge me for one glass what I could buy five to six cans for elsewhere. 

What makes me even angrier is that your reasoning for this seems to be that designated drivers take away money from your shuttle driver.  Yeah, your crap bar has a van that will pick people up and bring them to the bar, then take them home when they are ready.  The reason this is a terrible thing, and the second reason that I am furious with you, is that your shuttle driver is sitting at a table drinking beers. 

That's right.  Your shuttle driver is drinking while it is snowing outside, and no one running your bar has stopped him.  In fact, I will bet he didn't serve himself that beer, so that means that your bartender served a man she knows is driving for your company.

You are genuinely horrible people, and I don't care if this post isn't even that funny, because you can go to hell.  I have half a mind to give out the name of your bar, and honestly, I will sit in a booth and take pictures of this asshole drinking then taking people in his van if I hear this happens again.