Sunday, April 20, 2014

Dear Girls Making a Pouty Face

This doesn't work on me, and it belittles us both.  Me, because you assume that cute face will cloud my judgement enough that I'll give you what you want.  You, because it proves that you think this is cute, and that it doesn't make your face wrinkle up like a basset hound.  Your lazy assed half duck face is not endearing, and it needs to stop.

If this was an isolated thing done by people I know, it might be one thing, but they know better.  No, the place I see this happen most is at my job.  Woman and men alike think they are being clever, asking me for something I can't provide them, then making a pouty face when I say, "Nay, this will not be."  Most people generally assume I am not friendly to begin with, but somehow, certain people have lost their survival instinct and think they can charm me into doing something.  I cannot be charmed.  I have been chagrined on several occasions, but never charmed.  My brain interprets this as weakness, not the work of an ingenue.  Weakness is for toddlers and Laplanders, and I don't tend to want to deal with either on a regular basis.

Here's a novel idea: if you want something from me, just ask me.  Don't condescend or sugar coat.  You damn well shouldn't try to coerce me.  When all else fails, I also respond to money or sandwiches but never to immature acts like the pouty face. 

Oh, yeah.  Boobs work too.

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