Dear People Who Want Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites

Some people don't understand what it is like to not be able to find Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites.  Either the Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites come easy to them, and always have, or they just happen to have found some Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites and were lucky enough that they never lost them.  Some people though, are to ugly, awkward, or busy, and it is very hard for these people to find Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites.  Those people either die alone, without the warming comfort of Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites, or they take more drastic measures to find some Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites to call their own.  Some people, like me, join websites where other people looking for Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites go, so that they can finally have what they've been wanting. 

I exhausted the somewhat limited bounds of "People my friends are willing to introduce me to" quite some time ago.  It has never worked out well, which probably says plenty about me and the quality of Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites that I have to give.  Since then, I signed up for online Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites sites.  I've been on two sites for a few months now.  They have guarantees on the one site that if you don't find your Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites soul mate in six months, they'll give you another six months for free. They are that certain that you'll find someone to share in Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites together. 

One would assume that, to have signed up for these sites, a person would be eager to meet someone else.  Otherwise, why would they be on there?  Sadly, this seems to be the farthest thing from the truth.  Without hyperbole, I have sent message to over 500 difference women on those sites, ranging from a simply "Hi!  How are you doing?", to the more complex "I really enjoyed reading your profile.  I'd really love to chat with you and discuss Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites".  One lady who I really didn't want to waste a chance on, so full of Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites she was, I wrote "Hi! You are an amazingly gorgeous lady with a well thought out profile. It would be a pleasure to me if you'd like to message a bit and get to know each other,and to talk about Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites".  Minus three people, I have gotten the worst possible response.

No, they didn't just write back "Ew, no.".  They didn't tell me I was too ugly or poor to share their Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites.  They didn't take the kind and polite route and say "I'm sorry, but I am not interested."  They simply read my words, and did nothing.  I know, because you can see when someone has read the message you sent.  They felt that my Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites and I were not worth the few keystrokes it would take to tell me that a better idea than talking to them would be to fornicate with myself. 

That's right.  People that have a hard enough time getting Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites that they have to join the site can be cruel enough to ignore someone else in the same boat as them.  They can be cowardly enough to hide when someone puts themselves out there offering them all the Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites they can give, because somehow, kicking someone when they are already down has become such an acceptable thing that 497 ladies out of 500 think it is a perfectly acceptable thing to do.  The other three?  They wrote to me once or twice and THEN they stopped writing back.

It may shock you all to realize that the Ooey Gooey Awesome Cheesy Chewy Bites that I mentioned in this letter are really just a euphemism.