Sunday, June 28, 2015

Dear Letter Y

You are not useful.  Really, what are you good for at all?  Lazy people use you to ask "Why?", which pisses me off to no end.  Do you think you are more important than W and H, you pretentious jerk?  If it wasn't for you, we'd have a nice 25 letter alphabet, and if something at my store cost $0.25, I could ask  for an alphabet coin.  The customer would slide me a quarter, and we would be so freaking awesome. You ruin this.

I can cite two reasons why you are the most worthless and disposable.  First, listen to any child sing the ABC song.  Everything is good and normal until they hit you, and suddenly it is "W,X, Y and Z".  You have to be tied to Z just so people remember you.  Without Z you would be Pete Best, Chad Channing, and Brian Jones all wrapped up in a suck ass bundle.

The other reason would be your whole vowel nonsense.  "And sometimes Y".  Really?  When has it ever been Y?  They gave this one to you, just like they give a participation trophy to the kid on the little league team they stick in right field for one inning.  All he does is twirl in circles and chew on his glove the whole time, but he gets a trophy.  That's you.


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