Monday, January 30, 2012

Dear People Wearing Pajamas Out In Public

Congratulations!  Your fashion statement is on par most things one would would find on  The sad thing is, you don't realize it, or agree with me. 

There are three acceptable times to wear pajamas.
1) To bed.
2) To an 8AM college class.
3) To a very lax orgy at a Mattress Discounters outlet store.
If you are not involved in any of these three things, you should not be wearing pajamas. 

I don't care where you bought your pajamas, or how much they cost.  You are wearing pants held up by a drawstring.  I might as well use twine to hold up my work pants.  Hell, if all rules of etiquette and decency in public are off, I will just walk around in sweatpants and a mesh tank top so that my nipples can get some fresh air.  And seriously people, if you are buying designer pajamas and using that as a justification to be lazy about your appearance, that's like buying a new Porsche to put up on blocks in your front yard.  Just because it's expensive doesn't make it classy or mean it looks good.

Don't give me the lecture that it is about being comfortable.  That reasoning is what made Crocs happen, and we as a nation have barely recovered from those.  Comfort breeds laziness, and laziness gets you killed.  Do you want to die?  No?  Then buy a real pair of pants and keep your head in the game.

Back in the day men wore suits and hats everywhere, and women wore dresses.  There were casual suits for men when they wanted to go to a ballgame or to a bar, and for women, the gods themselves crafted the most perfect and sexy article of clothing ever to be created: the sundress.  Women wore sexy dresses all the time, and this ended two world wars and not surprisingly caused a baby boom.  Now we have tv shows like "Teen Mom" and "Preschool Aged Grandma" because people are wearing pajama pants everywhere, and those are so easy access that people just figure "Why not?" 

Things have gotten so bad that they make pajamas that look like dress pants and jeans.  It is a slippery slope, and guess where all that sliding gets you?  To this:

Where is your God now, pajama wearers?


  1. well said. Especially the bit about sundresses. Although I probably shouldn't mention that I wore slippers to work today.

    1. Thanks. Do you work for yourself, in your own house? Otherwise you have failed at life for the day.


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