Monday, April 23, 2012

Dear Alumni from my College

This is the first year I have been able to go to Alumni weekend since I graduated seven years ago.  I work weekends.  Many of us that didn't just graduate from the school work for a living, in fact.  We aren't just dirty hipsters and hippies that don't know how to hack it in the real world like you.  That is why it is ridiculous that you have taken almost every bit of the on campus housing for alumni weekend.

48% of the rooms have been booked by people that graduated in the last two years.  These kids were freshman in high school when I graduated college and got a full time job.  Some of the rooms have been booked by people that have not even graduated yet.  That is like an eight year old getting a lap dance.  It isn't appropriate, it should never have been allowed, he has no money to afford it, and it is taking away an opportunity from someone that probably has earned it more.  Honestly, you graduate in May and by June you are going to need to go back?  Things have actually changed there since I last set foot on property.


Here's a list of things you should do instead of going to Alumni Weekend a month after you graduate:

1.  Get a damn job


So now, I am sharing a room with two other grown men that has only two twin beds, all because I foolishly thought I could wait to book a suite two months in advance.  I can hear you say "But Greg, isn't it that you just waited too long?"  No, I did not.  You asshats had so little to do you sprang on reservations the second they opened.  I was working 45 to 50 hours a week, writing a blog, and working on various other projects.  All my friends work jobs too, and trying to get that many people together that don't answer their damned phones or return emails is almost impossible.

Oh, so now you say, "But Greg, you just said you have a jobby-job.  Can't you afford a hotel?"  There is a simple answer to that- Get scabies.

I would like to be back on campus for one night and remember the good times I had there.  This is a precursor to my mid life crisis, and I intend to enjoy it.





7 comments:

  1. They should make recent grads sleep in tents. Free preview of tough economic times to come.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well played, Natalie. Well played indeed.

      Delete
  2. All in favor of forming a brute squad and clearing the suites of thieves, say aye.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wouldn't be the first time, and it won't be the last.

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    2. "You are the brute squad."

      Delete
  3. at my alumni reunion we DO sleep in tents, cause we're dirty hippies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But you embrace that, which counts for something.

      Delete

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