Dear New Year's

You have joined Valentine's Day, Facebook, High School Reunions, and the Catholic Church as one of the top ways to make people miserable and feel guilty about the way they have lived their lives.  Nothing makes someone feel worse about the fact that they already don't fit into the pants they were given for Christmas like hearing how "fortunate" and "grateful" all your acquaintances are about their great jobs/significant others/houses/kids/rocket sleds/vacations that happened over the past year. 

I spend a good deal of my time, money, and dwindling patience finding things that take my mind off of how unhappy I am.  I do not need you promising me a "fresh start" each and every year, therefore reminding me that I cried in front of my fourth grade class when we watched "My Girl" and that's all they remember me for all these years later.  If I was going to take the time to say "Golly, it's January!  I can take this time to get into shape and stop yelling at people at restaurants!  This is going to be the best year ever!" then I would have done it by now.  On December 19th, I told a woman at Walmart that cut in line in front of me that maybe she shouldn't be in such a hurry to buy more cookies.  I don't think that twelve days later I am going to be into peace, love and understanding just because my Modern Family page a day calendar has run out.  

I have an understanding that there will not be some big party, I will not get that kiss at midnight, and that this year is going to be shockingly similar to last year.  I have come to terms with that, because I have taken the small victories.  I am in better shape already on January first this year than I have been since high school.  Pitchers and catchers will report to Florida in two and a half months, and there will be 162 Phillies games for me to enjoy.  I'll play golf sometime this year, perhaps even well at times, and sooner or later I'll see someone who is genuinely happy to see me.  I don't need Hollywood showing some ensemble cast or every commercial on TV telling me now is the chance to change my life.  If it is going to change, it'll do it regardless of what I do, and regardless of whether or not I like it. 

Maybe January 1, 2014 will roll around and my life will be amazing.  If that happens, I will roll with it.  If it doesn't I will roll with that too.  Just don't try to get my hopes up and don't make me regret the good things I have to lust after the things that I don't.