Sunday, December 7, 2014

Dear OBX

OBX is not short for obnoxious.  No one cares that you've been to the Outer Banks.  There.  I said it.  You wasted somewhere between $5 to $10 to let everyone know that you went to a place full of sand and secession and nobody cares.  It's not like you are part of some mystic brotherhood of asshats who drove a car and ended up at South of the Border.  Judging by the number of these stickers I see on cars on the highway in Maryland alone, there was some mandatory decree that everyone see the dune where the Wright Brothers had their hovel, or Tyler Perry would remake "It's a Wonderful Life".  I'm fairly certain some people have bought those stickers for their car that haven't even been there.  There are just too many out there.

No, you are no better if you have some far flung retreat like Paris, Hawaii, or the UK.  You're just more artsy and pretentious than those that really wanted the world to know they bought Steak N' Shake instead of McDonalds one time and then got some really cool fireworks.   Good for you, you travel.  The only reason to announce it is to make yourself seem superior to those that don't, haven't, or can't. 

In light of that, I've started a line of stickers I call "Future Stickers".  These are all places you haven't been yet, but I highly suggest you go:

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